by Sending nude photos to your partner can be a fun and exciting way to spice things up. However, when things take a bad turn in the relationship and suddenly your most intimate images are being shared around the world online, the effects can be long lasting and emotionally crippling. Unfortunately, social media have made it easier than ever for people to share these private photos with the world while leaving laws and regulations struggling to catch up to ensure the protection of victims.
Teenagers, are often the most vulnerable to these kinds of situations. The lack of experience in the game of romance can lead to them making terrible decisions in terms of who they want to share what kind of images with. Unfortunately, once someone else has your pictures in their possession, there is very little that can be done to prevent them from sharing it.
However, if you’ve recently found yourself facing this horrible situation, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. There are a wide range of steps that you can take and resources that you can reach out to for you to reclaim control of your life and your privacy. Hopefully, this guide will be able to help you figure out what steps you should be taking next and how you can protect yourself from this kind of painful situation in the future.
Breathe
Having someone that you intimately trusted with the most vulnerable version of yourself betray you can be absolutely devastating and have a terrible impact on your mental state. The reality is that this is a traumatic situation that you’ve had to undergo, and that means you’ll need to take the necessary steps to ensure that you’re not giving into the pressures and anxieties that this can cause. The last thing you want to do is start to feel as if this is in any way your fault or a result of actions that you took. The decision to share those images was that of another, and you are in every way a victim of revenge porn and need to remove any sense of guilt that comes along with that.
Focus on What You Can Change
For a lot of people going through having their nudes shared, the main focus of all their concerns ends up being who’s seen the photo, how many people have seen the photo, and what they all think. Unfortunately, while this might be the thing you most want to control right at this moment, it’s not really something you can ever know. The internet is a vast and universal space, and controlling it can be nearly impossible.
However, there are certain things that you can reclaim control over, and refocusing your attention onto them can help give you a stronger sense of agency. These things include finding a support system that you can really depend on, getting the right legal team in place, and speaking with the people closest to you and explaining what happened.
Find Support
While virtual non-consensual photo-sharing is still a new and difficult problem, recently a number of different support groups have popped up to help victims stay calm, regain control, and understand their rights. Having this kind of support can be critically important, especially for those who feel incredibly alone and isolated. Sometimes, the last people you want to talk to is your own family the moment you find out that this has happened, and that’s completely understandable. However, reaching out to someone who can help can make a world of difference.
The Cyber Civil Rights Initiative is one such organization that provides a 24-hour emergency hotline service for revenge porn victims so that people have access to the help they need no matter what time of day or night it is. These professionals will be more than willing to listen to you and guide you through the healing process in addition to providing you with information regarding possible attorneys you could speak with, as well as the steps you can take to remove your photos from many virtual spaces.
Reporting and Removing Images
Luckily, most social media platforms and larger porn websites such as YouPorn or PornHub have no desire whatsoever to post non-consensual photos. This is great news for victims as it means that reporting your particular pictures is actually incredibly easy once you learn that this has happened. You can easily flag the content and report it based on the claim that it violates user guidelines. Often enough, when you flag an image on social media, a questionnaire will pop up asking for a more detailed explanation where you’ll be able to state that these photos were shared without your explicit consent and they will be automatically removed.
Another option would be to work with a company that specializes in helping victims remove unwanted photos from the virtual space. However, it’s important to keep in mind that there are many companies who offer these services that don’t actually really scan the internet for the images and so there’s always a chance that something ends up being missed, meaning you will pay for services you won’t actually receive. Just make sure you really do your research and find a respectable team you can trust.
Keep All the Evidence
Once you’ve wrapped your head around the fact that you’ve had your nudes shared without your knowledge, the first thing you’ll want to do is start collecting evidence showing that this is, in fact, what’s happened. This means taking screenshots of every conversation you’ve had regarding the situation and saving them on multiple sources including your phone and computer. You may even consider printing those images and saving them for yourself for later on.
Of course you want social media platforms and porn websites to remove your images as quickly as possible. However, you need to remember to gather all the evidence you can of the crime so that you can pursue legal action down the line. It’s incredibly important that throughout this mentally challenging time you remember that you are a victim who deserves justice and who finally has the law on their side to help make that happen.
Speak with Those Closest to You
Now that you’ve come to terms with the pain and betrayal of trust, it’s important that you speak to the people closest to you no matter how difficult it might seem right at that moment. While your greatest wish might be that this whole situation just disappears like it never happened, the reality is that it did happen and addressing it as quickly as you can with those who matter most can help soften the blow. Hearing it from you will be a lot easier than seeing it for themselves online or having someone else bring it to their attention. It’s important to remember that once the initial shock of seeing those pictures passes, they’ll almost certainly be on your side 100%. These are the people who love and care about you the most in the world, so even if they’re angry or disappointed, they’ll want to make sure that you receive all the care that you need to make it through this unfortunate time.
Find a Good Lawyer
At the end of the day, sharing these intimate images for the explicit purpose of revenge porn is considered a crime in a number of countries around the world. This means that the person who’s betrayed you will need to pay for putting you in this embarrassing and horrific position. However, you need to be able to prove that the photos were in fact shared without your consent, as well as proving that these are photos you would not have otherwise shared with the public. This is where a great legal team will come into play.
There are a number of professional attorneys who have made virtual crimes their main area of focus. This means that they’ll know exactly how to address this situation and what steps they’ll need to take to prove that this was done with malintent and without any knowledge on your part. Of course, you’ll need to make sure you trust your attorney completely and, therefore, you need to make sure you take the time to really find someone you feel comfortable with. This person will be one of your greatest allies during this difficult time and so they need to be a person you believe in whole-heartedly.
Take the Time to Heal
Becoming a victim of any sort of crime can feel overwhelming, but when you’re dealing with an intimate betrayal on this level, it’s easy for many people to feel isolated, distressed, and many can even suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. Having your nudes shared is an extremely difficult thing to suffer from, and the law is finally coming to terms with that. However, even when you’ve found a good legal team and are working toward getting the situation back under control, it doesn’t mean that you’ve taken the time to really heal. Just like with all abuse victims, regaining complete control over how you feel can take a long time, and there’s nothing wrong with asking for professional help to start making your way toward recovery.
There are many professionals who specialize in helping patients who have dealt with some form of sexual trauma, which this most certainly is. They’ll be able to help you find the right coping mechanisms, as well as helping you to understand how to move on from being a victim to reclaiming your power after this kind of traumatic event. If you’re unsure of where to turn or who to talk to, reach out to a source such as RAINN (the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) who can provide you with a list of therapists near you who specialize in your particular situation.
Protect Yourself
Right now you might be wondering what you could have done to protect yourself and what you can do now to keep yourself out of this kind of situation in the future. Unfortunately, there’s very little you can do that will stop people from sharing your photos wherever and whenever they want. Once the image is in their hands, they’ll be able to do whatever they want with it no matter how it makes you look or feel. However, that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing you can do to protect yourself.
If you and your partner decide to share these intimate images with one another, one thing you’ll want to keep in mind is to conceal yourself as much as possible. This means you definitely want to make sure your face isn’t in any of the pictures that you send. Keeping your face out of the frame can be a great way to ensure no one can identify you with them even if they do get shared.
You should also make sure that the images you send don’t have any identifying characteristics such as birthmarks, burns, or even tattoos. If you have any sort of mark on your body that could match the person in the photo or video to yourself, then make sure you do everything you can to hide it. Remember, even if this person is someone you trust and love right now, that doesn’t mean things can’t change in the future. Protecting yourself is unfortunately necessary and taking these steps can help ensure you don’t end up suffering from this kind of pain down the road.
The pain that can come with finding out that you’ve been betrayed on this deep level can be astounding. However, understanding the steps that you can take to regain your agency and control over your life can help get you back on the right track. It’s so important that you remember you’re not alone and that you are not to blame. Make sure that you keep these tips in mind so that you can start making progress through this difficult situation as soon as possible.
